Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The Most Bizarre Incident of My Life

So, I realize that I still owe you 15 more things that you don't experience in America. It'll come , one day. For now, sit back and enjoy this story that almost told of my death.

Around 1:30 AM this morning, I was laying in bed and could not sleep. I decided that I would do some rounds around the blogosphere and catch up with the world. Upon visiting one friend's site, I found a preview for Lost, which will return on February 2nd. PTL.

This preview was rather intense with these flashes from throughout the previous 5 seasons. In the background was playing this rather creepy rendition of Amazing Grace. Towards the end of the preview I began hearing this flapping noise. I thought to myself, "Huh, that's odd." The preview then ended, but the flapping did not.

As the flapping increased in speed and noise, I began to think I was being attacked by some kind of evil spirit or something. It's the only thing my 1:30AM brain could come up with. I turned charismatic for a few seconds until I look up and there, flying around my room is a bat.
Yes, a BAT.

I jumped up out of the bed and attempted to turn on my light, which would not turn on. I had a pillow in my hand and ran into the living room. I could only get 1 small light to come on in there. I stood there, tried to collect my thoughts, and decide what to do.

Unfortunately, there was no time to think because the bat came into the living room. The only reaction I had was to start swinging at the bat. I suppose I was thinking that if I could knock the bat out or kill it, then I could more easily dispose of it. That was a mistake!

What I did not realize at the time, but now know, thanks to my good friend Kelly, is that bats really are blind so they follow shapes and light. As I began swinging at the bat with my pillow, the bat started diving towards me. It was all over at that point.

My heart began to pound, I was shaking, I was screaming like a little girl. I realized that swinging was doing nothing good, so I crouched down on the floor, hoping for a miracle, but ready for the sweet release of death. The bat flew out of the room.

As I stood there shaking, my heart pounding, my head spinning, it suddenly occurred to me, that the only thing I could do was open the window and hope for the best. So that I did. I turned on the light and opened the window. I stood in the kitchen and waited, crouched behind my pillow.

Thankfully, the bat came back into the living room and flew right out of the window. I, myself, was within inches of death. I was certain a heart attack was headed my way, but alas, I did not die. For hours I sat on my bed, wide awake, heart pounding, calling all the people who would give me the best reactions. I'm not sure I will ever be able to sleep again.




3 comments:

Erin said...

love it. Always will.

Karen Tidwell said...

Please forgive me for laughing at you near death experience.

Unknown said...

Nathan! Erin told me the extended addition as it was happening! Sounded heart-stopping...