Per Request of Erin in Ukraine...

So... my friend Erin told me today that I needed to update my blog. I don't really have any good stories, though. In an effort to please the fans at a time of blogger's block, I will post some great things about the place I live...

1. TCBY. That's right, a recent discovery. I don't know why I didn't know this was here, but it is. I almost cried when I saw it I was so happy!

2. Trash pick up. Everyday. More than once.

3. Friendly people. As a general rule, the people here are great. There are "those people," but as a whole, great bunch of folks!

4. Showers. I know what you're thinking, "Most people have showers." But here's the thing. The heat index outside is hotter 'an blue blazes, so inside it's about the temp of blue blazes. Showers have to happen multiple times and I'm just thankful that they do.

5. Drink stands every 5 or 6 feet. Nice

6. David's. A drink stand... kinda of like Sonic, but not at all. It still deserves it's own number though.

7. Wal-Mart x2.

8. Fresh vegetables all year. They have pumpkins all year as well. Mmm... pumpkin bread!

9. Great restaurants. Particularly one around the corner... Xian Shan... good stuff.

10. Service oriented. It's great...

11. Cooking with gas... so much better than electricity.

12. Cheap stuff: haircut= $3; massage= $4; bottle of water= $.30; McDonald's ice cream= $.36

Ok, 12 is enough. Happy blogging!

101 Reasons why you shouldn't leave home without your camera...

Let me paint you a picture. Close your eyes. Put yourself in Asia.

It's Sunday night. You're a strange kid with a little dose of OCD. At 8 o'clock you think to yourself, "You know what, I want a haircut." Now that the thought is in your head, you realize you NEED a haircut and if you don't get one, it will drive you crazy. (Ok, crazier) So, off you go, down your 6 flights of stairs, out the  gate, and across the street to the salon.

Upon entering the salon you put on your "semi-dumb American" facial expression and, in more of a question tone than what's actually right, you say "Wo yao lifa" and then nod your head as if you know what they are saying back to you. You get excited, my friend, because at this point you realize that the hair washing begins. After a good 10 minute wash and rinse you go sit in the chair and the haircut takes place. Afterwards, you get about a 5 minute wash and then your hair is blown dry. You pay. You leave. You are satisfied because haircuts have become MUCH more about the experience than the actual cut, which, let's be honest, isn't the best in the world. You paid $2.23 so "whatever."

As you walk towards the street you realize, "Man, I want an ice cream cone from McDonald's!" You continue walking and get about 1/4 of the way there and realize "Ehh, I don't want to walk all the way there, plus I'm starting to get hungry and I've already eaten there this week and I'll end up buying a double cheese burger, hold the cheese." You're now just down from the grocery store, so you decide to go in.

As you disembark from the escalator you suddenly think, "This was a stupid mistake. I should have gone for the ice cream." Luckily the Lord is looking out for you and unknowingly, this will indeed NOT be a mistake. You don't know that yet, however, so your negative thoughts continue as follows: "1.6 billion people in this country and 2.6 are in here. There have got to be less tragic ways to die than 'Trampled By Angry Asian Mob in Search for Hot Deals'" But, alas, you get your laundry detergent, coke, and loofah and go to the check out. 

You are relieved. The line was pretty short and all in all it only took about 20 minutes. You head out of the store, show your receipt, and dig for the cold bottle of coke you purchased impulsively and head up the escalator. To your delight you hear what seems to be a catchy song and possibly an event taking place on the outside of the store. (Point of clarification... when you entered the store, you went in the back. You are now exiting the front. Thus, you did not hear said catchy song upon arrival.)

As you reach the top of the escalator and turn to exit the store you realize that the song you are hearing sounds like something that should be played after "Bolero" and before "Malaguena" in the musical Blast! and then you see it: all 101 reasons why you shouldn't leave home without your camera wrapped into 1 huge reason.

Yes, on stage is a little girl (about 7) with braided pig tails in a sparkling red dress. Her smile goes from ear to ear. You blink your eyes to make sure you are not dreaming. As you open them, you realize that yes, she is, in fact, playing a set of drums to the music you are hearing.  

This, friend, is why your camera should be as much a part of your ensemble as your clothes.

   

So this one time I had a blog...

Ok, so I am one of the worst bloggers out there. I never keep up with this thing. So... here's several blog worthy moments wrapped into one. You can read it in segments and that way you'll think I'm updating regularly. 

Ten Clues It's Summer Here...

1. You don't remember the last time you wore socks and your feet have the tan lines for your chacos, teva flip flops, and crocs. 

2. You refuse to go to anything that would call for you wearing pants.

3. The heat index is higher than the average 3rd grader can count. 

4. You've taken up swimming everyday, not because there's a pool, but because with the humidity as high as it is, it's just more practical to SWIM through the air than WALK on the ground.

5. You are beginning to hate people who have central air conditioner. That's right, hate. Jealousy was back somewhere around April 3rd or so. 

6. Every Asian man who is above 30 and has a beer belly rolls their shirt up to where just their bellies are sticking out. You contemplate doing this, but you realize that A. you're white and B. you have more hair on your stomach than all the men in your complex have combined.

7. You can literally smell people from 10 feet away and you KNOW that if you had to give up one of your 5 senses it would be smell with no questions asked.

8. You're starting to forget what it feels like to be completely dry, because most of the time you're wet with sweat. MMMM...sweat.

9. You don't take a hot shower. Well, that is you don't use the hot water heater, but the water is hot because the pipe runs outside. 

10. You're pretty much "not fresh" by the time you walk out your gate, if you make it that far.

So Ryan and Bradley came to town...

This past week 2 friends from home made the trip over the Pacific. We had ALOT of fun. Here's some snippets...

HK... great city, lots of fun, lots of food, lots of sights!

Fever problems at the border, have no fear, we got through...

$0.36 McDonald's ice cream at least every other day, sometimes more

Ryan got locked in the bathroom...

Bradley busted down bathroom door to get Ryan out

Ryan was behind on Lost... we watched almost a full season...

We laughed. We ate. We laughed some more. We ate some more.

Alright folks. Two whole blogs in one. Be happy. Peace out blogspot.

Electrician Lady

Electrician lady... replacing light switch... all the power is still on... will she be fried? It's like watching the discovery channel or something! I'll keep you updated...

Southern Comfort

Well, I think I successfully proved that you can take a boy out of the South, but you can't take the South out of the boy. Here's why...

Proof #1 

I was semi fussy when I woke up this morning, nothing out of the ordinary, so out of instinct I grabbed my Alabama shirt and put it on. I almost grabbed my Bama hat, but quickly realized that since I was not going to a sporting event, 2 Alabama articles of clothing might be too much. None-the-less, my Alabama shirt made me very happy today.

Proof #2

For dinner tonight I cooked BBQ ribs, baked beans, and corn on the cob. I would have made cornbread, but my oven isn't the biggest (although, thankfully bigger than most here!) and I didn't want to take the time to wait on the cornbread after everything had already cooked. The ribs were absolute perfection! I covered the corn in butter, and the baked beans were really good as well.

Proof #3 (I'm almost ashamed to admit this)

When it was time to clean up from dinner, I was in the mood to listen to music. I went straight for Rascal Flats, followed by "Sweet Home Alabama," and then that shady song "All Summer Long."

Proof #4

The sweat tea is brewing as we speak... I failed to remember to make it in time for dinner!

Proof #5

I ENJOYED EVERY SINGLE MINUTE OF IT!!!

So... when I was in high school, I'm reluctant to admit that I simply hated the state of Alabama. Turns out I was an IDIOT in high school.  I love the South. I love the smell of summer in the South. I love the roaring football-filled days in the fall of the South . I love how Christmas decorations cover yards filled with dead leaves and grass rather than snow in the winter in the South. I love the sweet smell of wild honeysuckle in the late spring in the South. I love how tonight somehow turned into an ode to the South. And I love how one day my crimson blood will flow quickly as my heart races because once again I've stepped onto Southern ground!

Only one Southern treasure would have made this day better. Care to venture a guess??

It's hot...

...and I started sweating pretty much all the time a week or so ago. I'll let you know when I stop. Gross thought? At least I use deodorant! When I worked in Savannah, GA, one summer I had to take a shower when I thought about opening the door. Here, you need another shower before you get out of the one you're in!! 

Bamboo... Truly a Miracle

Today at lunch I began a discussion with some of my friends about the amazing versatility of bamboo. Below is a list of things you can do with bamboo. Sit back, enjoy, and be amazed at the "wonder plant."

1. You can eat the stuff and it's pretty good I must say. Today we had bamboo shoots and pork! 

2. You can make scaffolding with it. ALL scaffolding here is bamboo. You might recall a Rush Hour quote: "Chinese bamboo very strong!"

3. You can use it to beat people with. Grant it, that's not a happy thought, but who made the claim that all facts were happy? (Not sugar coating life is my gift. What can I say?)

4. You can build a house with bamboo. A pretty good one too! 

5. You can make a mat to sleep on. 

6. You can use them as stakes for your tomato (or whatever) plants.

7. You can fashion cooking tools to cook with bamboo.

8. You can make bamboo chopsticks.

9. You can make seat covers for your car.

10. You can fashion dishes such as cups and plates.

11. You can burn bamboo to cook or to stay warm in the winter.

12. You can grow a thicket of bamboo to block out noise. 

13. You can make a bamboo picture frame.

14. You can make a bamboo instrument to play as you sit around your bamboo fire, cooking your bamboo to eat.

15. You can feed bamboo to your pet panda. Although, I must admit, I have a feeling that having a panda as a pet might put you in jail and might make #3 a reality in your life.

16. You can fashion a pipe to hold your plant of choice to smoke. 

17. You can own bamboo as simply a plant which gives off aesthetic value and allows you to complete upper levels of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.

18. You can use bamboo leaves to fashion clothes. After all, if Eve was able to fashion garments out of fig leaves, I'm certain bamboo leaves would work as well. 

19. For you Lost fans out there, you can tie former foreign military men to a tree and shove pieces of bamboo under their fingernails until they produce the answers to your questions. 

20. Bamboo can be used as a walking cane.

21. I'm certain that dogs would be willing to use a stick of bamboo as a toy to fetch with. 

22. Bamboo can also be used to make furniture. In fact, I own a bench made entirely out of the stuff. 

23. You can make a ladder out of bamboo

24. Bamboo, in the hands of the right cobbler, can be made into shoes.

25. Bamboo can also be made to make very pleasing wind chimes.

There you go! You can do almost anything with bamboo really. Economic times hit you hard? Find a few seeds of bamboo and grow yourself a successful future!! Money may not grow on tress, but bamboo IS a tree!