If a dream is a wish your heart makes...

...then my heart hates me! 

So, a few weeks ago I went to Macau to visit a good friend and take some time off. While we were together we discussed language learning and how it was going for the both of us. He told me that he recently had been having dreams in the language he's learning. I assured him that I would NEVER be at the point that I could actually dream in another language.

Well, looks like I often use the word "never" in place of "really soon." Yesterday, as I was taking a nap I found myself in a dream completely in my 2nd language. There was a conversation going on and then just lists and lists of vocabulary everywhere. I tried and tried to wake up for the longest time. It was like the dream where you are drowning, but you just can't seem to get back to the top!! 

Some have said this is a good sign, that I'm making progress. I tend to think that once again my heart has chosen to betray me... (see Dr. Pepper posts)

Dr. Pepper: A Continuing Saga of that Texan Jewel

Dec. 8th, 2008... I awoke at 4:00AM to watch Alabama get slaughtered by the Florida Gators in the SEC Championship. Although I love Alabama football more than I love some of my friends, I still needed a little boost to wake me up and keep me alert. I sauntered into the kitchen, opened the refrigerator, and took out the last Dr. Pepper. Within 20 minutes I had downed every drop, not yet realizing that Dr. Pepper would vacate my life for 4 months. 

April 6, 2009... At 7:18AM I walked into Macau. Just days earlier, my good friend vowed we would find Dr. Pepper. Over the past 4 months I had dreamed of that canned liquid love. There were days when I imagined that glorious unmatched taste pour into my mouth and slide down the back of my throat, reviving my un-energized body into a frenzy of joy. 

On the afternoon of the 6th day of April, we walked into the store. There was ONE Dr. Pepper left. I grabbed it up like it was the holy grail. I carried it like a newborn baby, fresh in the world. We walked to a park, sat down on a bench, and I thanked the good Lord above for the sweet can of manna in my hands. I grabbed the pop top to open it...and it BROKE. Satan and his band of idiots had snatched away my happiness. My good friend, who now deserves a million dollars, pounded on the can until it opened. I smiled, and began to slowly immerse myself back into the wonderful world of Dr. Pepper. 

Within minutes my body began to shake. I could have run all the way to Birmingham and back. It was a glorious feeling! To be honest though, it was a little much. I began to question the foundations of the earth. Had my body betrayed my heart's desire to drink in one of life's great blessings? I left Macau without another sip of Dr. Pepper, with that question lingering in my head.

April 13, 2009... At 5:05PM I walked into a western grocery store here in the city. They had just received a new shipment of products. I scanned the new selections and saw a shelf full of V8. Upon closer glance, there in the front row, tucked between two horrific cans of liquified tomatoes stood a Diet Dr. Pepper can. Before I knew it, it was in my hands. Was my body betraying the true crimson can for the less true white can? 

I walked home, put the can in the refrigerator, and left it for another day. For days I pondered what my body would think of this DIET drink. Was it worthy? Could the commercials be true? Does it taste like the real thing?

April 15, 2009... This day marked 6 months in the country. A place that, in case you haven't been reading, does not have an abundance of Dr. Pepper. I thought to myself, how should I celebrate? I walked to the refrigerator and reached for the Diet Dr. Pepper can. I sat down, opened the can, and took a sip. I took another sip. It was just how I remembered Dr. Pepper back home.

It's true ladies and gentlemen. After just 6 months in a country that does not like sugar, my body has betrayed my heart and longs for Diet Dr. Pepper!! 

P.S. I have tried Diet Coke and Coke Zero. These are still NASTY diet drinks in my book! 

Now I'm all nervous...

So, there has been quite a bit of chatter over my Billy stories! I'm at a loss as to what to blog about now. I set the bar to high, and I just can't beat myself. I will try to find a good story to post soon!

Billy...A Must Read

I met Billy just over 2 weeks ago. Billy is a special needs guy that now works in my tutor's shop. I don't have a problem with special needs people, but I will be honest and say that I am mildly uncomfortable around them. I can handle most of them in America, since they speak English and all they really want is a good friend, but the one (I've only met Billy) in this country speaks a foreign language (mostly, story to follow) and I'm just not quite sure how to react...

My first encounter with Billy...

On a rather sunny afternoon, I walked into my tutor's shop for my lesson. There, in the shop, sat Billy. Billy began speaking to me in his language. I froze. This is no different than most encounters with foreign speakers, other than it was escalated by about 10x. I knew there was no way for me to ever understand a single word Billy would say to me. I am really trying to hide my body language, but at this point in my life, it usually wins out. I just looked at my tutor, who translated...a little! 

My Tutor and I began our lesson and Billy wanted to join in. He stood right over me. I can't stand for people to do that. I don't care who you are! Thankfully, my tutor told him to sit down and then encouraged him to go take a nap! I was saved for the most part that day!

The story isn't over yet though! During the break...my favorite part of language learning...Billy came and stood by me and began talking. I just stared. I really had no clue as what to do. Then, out of the blue, Billy started talking to me in English. It was quite the ego boost when I realized this guy who had serious problems could speak both his language and English! 

My second encounter with Billy...

Last Tuesday was a horrible culture shock day! Part of that culture shock can, unfortunately, be linked to Billy. I was in the midst of a really hard lesson where none of the right sounds would come out of my mouth. Billy, out of curiosity of my butchering of the language, came and stood right behind me again. He hunched over so that he could see my workbook, placed his hand on my back, and breathed in my ear, sounding like a dog who has rabies. 

To begin with...as stated earlier, the whole standing right behind me thing is WAY more than I can handle. I realize that most Asians just don't have a bubble, but I as an American with serious sensory issues still have one. I love to be close to the ones I love, but even they need to be at my side or in front, NOT RIGHT OVER MY SHOULDER!! Second of all, one of the first rules of dealing with those with sensory issues (i.e. ME) is NEVER touch them from the back when you the toucher cannot be easily seen. This makes my body want to explode. I normally am a pretty touchy feely guy. I love a good hug. I love being close with my friends. I've always been a cuddler, but the hand on my back thing is NOT ME! My instinct is to arch my back...which unfortunately I did several times during Billy's stint behind me! I literally thought I was going to die. Ok grant it, this blog is filled with hyperbole...if you haven't figured that out by now, you've not really been reading! 

Today's encounter with Billy...

So Billy has been around language for almost everyday now. My tutor and I decided to start having language in the mornings...sans Billy. Billy heard this (about the change, not because of him. I sound mean, but give me just an ounce of credit!) Today was our official start to studying in the morning. I started at 9 and would leave at 12, just before Billy came into work. There are also less people around as a whole in the morning, since I do in fact study in a shop and not a school.

Apparently Billy likes me, and did NOT like the idea of me coming when he was not there. How does one fix that? Well, Billy showed up about 9:45. My tutor, who is probably the nicest guy I've ever met, just stared at Billy for about 1 whole minute before he even opened his mouth. I stared as well. Billy laughed. My tutor asked Billy why he was there, and Billy continued to laugh. I'm fairly confident he told him to go away and come back after 12. Billy just stood there. That's when my tutor and I both noticed Billy's pants. 

Billy's pants were drenched. As a matter of fact, they were so wet that they were leaving a trail and puddling up around Billy's feet. I'm thinking, "Did Billy go swimming? Did he fall in a lake? Did he get caught by someone's hose? Why is he wet?" That's about the time my tutor started yelling. I was in shock, I've never seen my tutor get upset ever. Trust me...I've given him reason!! 

After the yelling, Billy finally trudged off back towards home. We continued what we were doing and my tutor kept eyeing the puddle. He finally had enough. Apparently he's got a little OCD. I know where he's coming from!! My tutor looked at me and said "Break!" only he said it in his language. He motioned for me to stay in the shop, not on the walkway/balcony where Billy had been. He then got a bucket of water and doused the balcony. That's when it hit...BILLY HAD COME AND WET HIS PANTS!!

Life is never dull here! Let me again say, I'm not making fun of Billy at all! My tutor is helping him out a lot and I am very thankful for that. Patience is indeed a virtue, but one I unfortunately lack! These stories are simply to help you laugh at me!  

Death of a Nation: Orange Peel

Well this has been a long week due to several days of unexpected culture shock issues. I have a whole sob story about the really bad day I had Tuesday, but I will spare you those details! I do want to share with you what happened today on the bus...

So, I'm sitting on the bus eating several mandarin oranges. I was by the window, so when I would peel the orange I would throw the peel outside of the window. I would do that in America as well. Orange peel is biodegradable! 

I GOT YELLED AT!! This man sitting across the aisle on the mostly empty bus started yelling and pointing to the trash can and mocking my "throwing out the window" motion! Can you believe that!?!? I have seen THREE (3) people use the trash can on the bus for anything since I've been here and I am one of them! This is a place who's children wear split pants and use the bathroom...both 1 and 2...on the streets. This is a place who's streets/sidewalks are so filthy that it is REQUIRED that you take your shows off inside. This is a place where dirt and muck is EVERYWHERE. This is a place who's smell stays with you for WEEKS upon departure. This is a place who's humans SMELL TERRIBLE at any temperature about 70 for certain and most any other temperature to be honest. This is a place who's public bathrooms are like walking into a sewer! 

But for goodness sake's, throw a peel out the window and certainly the country will cease to exist!

My Manhood Questioned

Asians love the NBA. 

I do not love the NBA.

Asians know all the great players of the NBA.

I respond with "Yao Ming and Kobe Bryant" because those are the favored players.

Today, I'm standing outside my tutor's shop and a nearby shop owner runs up to me and says, "OOO today NBA Allstar!!!" I resonded, "huh?" So apparently, the NBA allstar game is happening sometime soon somewhere in the world. I had no clue. I'm fairly sure this guy thinks that I am not a man. Oh well! I will learn about the NBA when Asia learns about FOOTBALL, not soccer or futbol!!

25 Random Things

Ok, so there's this phenomenon taking place on Facebook where you post 25 random things about yourself in a note and then tag others to do the same for themselves. At first, I was vehemently against it, but alas, I have given into peer pressure and have decided to post it here. It's like my way of hiding my 25 things if I do it on here rather than Facebook. So anyway, here goes...

1. I love to travel. I suppose that's a given, but really, I love it and want to continue seeing the world for the rest of my life.

2. Living overseas produces the weirdest desires. For instance, currently I REALLY want to sit on carpet and eat Chik-fil-a. I miss carpet, and while initially that makes me feel weird, I really do it miss it in spite of the weirdness. As far as the Chik-fil-a goes, I'm going to get fat on it when I go back to the States!!

3. I walked into an IKEA last week and smiled and giggled the whole way through. I promise I still like women.

4. I am currently in the process of teaching myself how to be a better cook and make things from scratch. The making things from scratch is out of necessity. The better cook is out of a love for food.

5. To go along with #4, I have learned in recent weeks that Americans live to eat and Asians eat to live. You can taste it in home cooking in both places.

6. I sometimes sit and ponder clothes I want to buy when I move back home. Even I agree that this is sad and can't for the life of me figure out why I'm proclaiming this to the world.

7. I'm on a hardcore search for a bookshelf and table. My apartment feels semi-naked.

8. One of the things I want to do when I go home is buy a beagle, name him Pang, and teach him to obey commands in both of the languages I will (hopefully) speak by then.

9. The one person I probably miss the most is the one person I've never met: my niece Kennedy.

10. I'm ready for football season to begin. I find this odd since, in reality, I will probably be able to view less than half of the games.

11. I found out that I can download LOST really late at night. It made me gleeful!

12. If I were to never hear or see a firework again, I probably wouldn't be sad. I've seen enough in the past 2 weeks to fill that need forever I think.

13. I miss Union University and sometimes have to remind myself it's not actually my home. Although at any given point I might argue with you on that.

14. I paid $60 for Crocs 2 weeks ago that are made out of foam and canvas. It's like walking on love when I put them on my feet and completely justifies every penny.

15. Sometimes, when people look at me and talk in their local language, I completely lose the ability to respond in any language, much less their own.

16. Living alone has taught me a lot about myself as a person. 

17. When I have a really bad day I eat at McDonald's. This might be my last choice at home. 

18. I have become an avid blog reader over the past few months. I feel like people say things on blogs that they may never say out loud.

19. I come up with camp ideas for WJBC children's camp all the time. It's like a disease.

20. I do my best thinking on the public buses. It makes it difficult to write my thoughts down so that I will remember them due to the fact that it's not exactly the smoothest ride.

21. There's 1 person in my life who, when I talk to them, most bad things go away.

22. I like playing with rubber bands. I don't remember a time in my life when I didn't. I now realize you're judging me.

23. If I could choose any talent it would be singing. 

24. My favorite drink in the world is Dr. Pepper. I haven't had one since December. I always thought Mt. Dew was my favorite. It's weird realizing you've lived a lie.

25. I started losing interest in this at #15. I'm surprised I made it through!

If you've gotten this far in my blog, I'm impressed and you should probably get back to work!